When ladylike went out the window

I blame my parents. They tried really hard to raise their children in a gender neutral way. Then we became teenagers and suddenly things were different. My brother received all kinds of freedoms that were often withheld from me. I was a smart, good kid. I understood there was an age difference and I kept notes. When dear brother was allowed to stay out until 11pm, I expected that same freedom when I reached that age. Things were different though, and when the alarm bells of those freedoms rang, I was suddenly a girl again. Their baby girl. And so I strained against the bit and the bindings. I became devious. If they would not see reason, then reason and I would go out the window. I always gave them the benefit of the doubt, to have rational conversations and discuss my wants/needs and find compromise. When faced with unreasonable constraints, I flipped the bird and walked out the door. Don’t tell me I’m equal and then give me something short of equality.When I bought my first house, it was the year of the jaw-dropping man-ist remarks. My boss (a female) had told me to get used to inequality as I would never make as much as a man because, well, I was female and that is just the way it works. Jaw Dropped. I was in charge of finding the loan for the house. After fighting with a mortgage broker for some time over the phone (I refused to buy into the “benefits” of an ARM), he asked to speak to my husband, because you know, he might be able to understand better. Jaw Dropped. When touring a potential house, the FIL couldn’t figure out the flue on fireplace. I walked over and made it open/close. Later the realtor said he was shocked at the way I could so easily immasculate the FIL. Jaw Dropped. Really, I thought?I was taught to be polite, but never to consider how my actions as female might undermine a male. For shit’s sake, a man would never consider the reverse. I never fought for or thought I was better than a man. Just equal. I think for most women, that is all we really want — a level playing field. ——-This post is in response to this blog blast: Write a post on your blog telling us what you can do just as well as any man out there. Post anytime this weekend - today, April 11 to Sunday, April 13 and include links to http://www.askpatty.com/mycarpage.php andhttp://blog.parentbloggers.com